When You Get Haunted by Hatshepsut’s Spirit (2)

I began meditating inside that Pharaonic temple in 1989 for the most practical of reasons: I wanted to follow a methodology that could have slowed down the frenzied activity of my mind. I was not interested in gurus or rituals, spiritual awakening, or higher states of consciousness. All what I was aspiring for was the creation of mystical atmosphere, and for me, mystical is the opposite of monotony. I was seeking meditation with no frills. I read several books about the mystical secrets that the Temple of Hatshepsut had borne, so I believed that this Temple was the most convenient site for practising the meditation sessions. I used to focus on repeating two Pharaonic words, ’Ka’ and ’Ba’ while having my psychological sessions. These two words had a sterilizing power that had eliminated all the impurities on my mind and heart. The ‘Ba’ was sort of how the pharos acted, or in other words their personality while the 'ka’ was the life force of all living humans.

I knew that if I allowed the day’s obligations to pile up, I would have begun to find excuses not to meditate. The problem, I learned very quickly, was that this apparently simple activity, sitting quietly and repeating a single word, proved to be one of the most difficult challenges I had faced. The sort of conscious discipline away from meditating in the Temple was that I used to get my writing done, or make myself jog in the mornings .But unfortunately, these latter  activities proved to be  inutile. Telling one’s self not to think or to focus for twenty minutes on these mystical Pharonic words is like curbing a small child from talking and sitting silently for twenty minutes .It was an exercise in futility. My mind, I discovered very quickly, had a mind on its own.

At first, I found it intolerable to sit in meditation for more than few minutes .I squirmed .As my mind wandered ,I recalled long-forgotten obligations and could not have resisted running to fetch my laptop to type them down .I daydreamed over present disputes and planned new ventures ,chewed over past events. Unwittingly, I had entered a pitched battle with an endlessly resourceful opponent: my own mind.

Meditation inside the Temple quickly became the center of my life,FOUR hours in the early mornings and four more in the late afternoon. This intense discipline came to me easily. It assisted me in releasing my inner demons, unresolved anger, chronic anxiety and severe stress.